How to FAIL at landing a job in Information Security

Landing a job as an Information Security Engineer is not easy.

I made up a list that will help you fail at it.

1. Lie on your resume

write down that you:

• Configured *enter all brand name* Firewalls. Please mention that you know them from the inside out. When actually, you only configured a simple access rule using the GUI.
• Write down that you built the IPS infrastructure of a large organization. When practically, you watched as a contractor do all the work.
• Give yourself a title like Sr. Information Security Analyst. Sounds great. Make sure no one will notice that you were the only first level support.

2. Certifications

• Your only certification is CEH. God i hate this one.
• Have about 10 different certifications and no hands on experience.
• Write down that you are CISSP certified, when you only started to study for it. No one will catch up on that.

3. The interview

The fun part right here:

• Say you were once a hacker (scarry), but you only hacked to make the world a better place. The 80s are over. Get over yourself - FFS, Get a life
• When asked technical questions, lie lie lie, never say ‘i dont know”.  Remember all the things you wrote in the resume.
• Assume that the person interviewing you has 0 technical knowledge. He will be very impressed with your stories.
• Name drop as much as you can. People love to hear buzz words.
• Say that you are right for the job. True were a pc technician, but you took a course and passed the CEH exam. You really like this stuff.

The hands on lab

This is your chance to stand out (and if you are up, can you please head to the door?).

• We set up a computer with internet access. Dont use it. Hey you are so knowledgeable.. Fail #1
• You just ran into a small problem. Dont try to overcome it. Everyone likes a quitter. Fail #2
• Things are not going well for you. Blame it on the equipment. Say its broken. Sure it is. Fail #3
• You run into a device for the first time. Dont read the quick getting started guide. Go directly to the CLI. That would impress us. Gee just like the matrix. Fail #4
• On the other hand, when handling a firewall (the one you mentioned on your CV), look surprised when you realize there is more than the GUI. Fail #5

This is the part when i say we will be in touch.